A Parenting Paradox

Ok all you brilliant moms, sisters, friends. I have a parenting dilemma and I fully admit I'm at a loss to fix it. My beautiful 8 year old Jessi is just hitting all the wrong buttons with me lately. She has decided school is just a pain, her little brother & sisters are annoying, and her Mom is the eternal nag (yes it's me she's talking about, sob, sob). And here's the real kicker - She's mostly right.

Jessi has always hated homework but this year especially (3rd Grade) she has taken to "hiding" it from me. When I clean out her backpack or wash her coat I find 3 or 4 assignments she never finished. When I tell her she needs to complete them she says, "I don't Mom, that's already late work and my teacher doesn't care. Joey never turns in his homework and he's still going to 4th Grade next year." So what do I say to that? She's right you know - why should she do her homework when she doesn't really have to? So she'll get an "O" for outstanding instead of a "S" for satisfactory?

Next paradox - her siblings are annoying. Well so is she . . . sorry, that's not what I'm suppose to say. All Josh & Shelby want is for their older siblings to play with them. They wait all day and run to the door most of the time when they come home. And what do their loving "older" siblings do? "Why do we have to watch this baby show, I don't want to ride my bike around the block with Shelby - she's sooooo slow, Josh get out of my room!" I even made one of their daily chores to be reading a book to Josh or Shelby so at least they would spend a little time with them. Jessi had her friend Whitney over for 4 hours and they built a fort, pretended they were sailors, and watched a movie. How much of that would they let their younger siblings do? Nada. Now I'm the middle child so I was shunned by my older siblings too but I'm sick of it. You play with your younger siblings or else! That's right, buck up older kids or I'm going to make your life miserable . . . sorry, that's not what I'm suppose to say either.

Last Grr moment is that I have become "The Nag." Now they've never actually used that word (or I would get out the soap), but I can see it in Jessi's eyes. We have chore charts for all the kids and each chore is worth 20 cents. There are 5 chores a day which equals a dollar a day/$5 a week. Now Quinn loves money and almost never misses a chore. Jessi will sit at the table and say, "I don't really want money today so I'm not going to do any of my chores." GRR. Theoretically that should be ok right? Except for the fact that I'm just trying to give her allowance to be nice - the chores are not meant to be an option. So I have become the mean Mom who says exactly that, "Your chores are not an option, now get to it."

Jessi is such a bright, energetic kid when she wants to be. It's just like lately she's realizing she doesn't have to obey all the rules. I think part of it is because Quinn tries to be sooo perfect. It's almost like she's saying, "That role is full, I'm going to be the rebel."

So how do I get her to do her homework without any real consequences, how do I get her to play with her siblings without paying her, and how do I teach her a good work ethic without being a nag? Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. This mean middle child is drawing a blank.

Babes, Trucks, What more could you want?

Saturday Night was the big Monster Truck Show in the Holt Arena. Joaquin & Josh did the "male bonding" thing so Jesalee & I decided to do the same at home. Quinn & Jessi were spending the weekend with Aunt Dana to help celebrate Chelsea's 11th Birthday so it was just the little girls with us. We had dinner (mac & cheese), watched a movie (Barbie), and ended with a bath. Night life rocks!

I wanted to show this 30 sec. video of Halle chewing me out for something. They start so young . . .

And here is the final video clip of the big bad "Monster Truck Show." This was Josh's very favorite clip as the truck (it has a name but I can't remember what he told me) flips over.

Women's Conference Request

Believe it or not this post is not about my kids, shocker I know.  I was hoping to catch most of my friends.  Next Friday, April 30th I am going down to BYU for a quick 1 day, 1 night trip to Women's Conference.  Joaquin has agreed to keep all the kids for me  (he's even taking the day off NAPA - I'm guessing it's payback for all his Snowboarding this past winter) and I wanted to invite any of my friends who want to come with me!  Here's the link to their website in case you want to check it out http://womensconference.byu.edu

I'm going to leave 5:30 am on Friday, attend any classes on finding joy in motherhood, strengthening your testimony, or loving your husband more (you know the basics).  My Mom and whichever of my sisters that can come will be there also.  The conference closes with Elder Dallin H. Oaks and his wife Kristen M. Oaks, then we usually head to the BYU Bookstore to buy clothes, toys, mint brownies, or my favorite - BYU Creamery DONUTS!  My Dad always creates a fantastic candlelight dinner with a magnificent chocolate something for dessert that night, we stay up late chatting and laughing about what we learned, then after a few hours of sleep come home (Quinn has her piano recital Saturday).  

I know it's a whirlwind trip but it's one of my favorite things to do and I would love to share it with my friends.  So if any one can talk there husbands into babysitting for 24 hours or cash in on a couple favors - COME WITH ME!
P.S. It only costs $29, free lodging at my Mom's, and I'm already paying for gas.  Cheap, Cheap trip.

Now that my taxes are done . . .

It's true, my taxes are officially done!  I had Joaquin sign the papers, we paid the State of Idaho, and get some back from the Feds (only because of our 5 beautiful deductions) and I'm ready to join the blogging world again.  I just loved this picture of Halle and knew Mindi would appreciate my larger than life bow.  A big thanks to Gwen who let me borrow her "Bumbo" which I'd never heard of until recently.  It's the coolest little chair that you can set up on the counter, desk, or table.  The only thing I don't like about it is that Shelby, Josh, & even Jessi think it's cool they can sit in it (sorry Gwen, who would have thought all the kids who can sit up alone would want help?!?)

I have taken a picture of each of my girls in the dress I was blessed in just for fun.  Shelby was "helping" make her smile this morning.  I think she did great work, don't you?

This last pix I have to explain a little.  Right above Halle's changing table I hung a quilt my Mom had made for Quinn.  The picture doesn't do it justice, but it's just gorgeous with tons of bright spring colors and 4 different colored kittens that decorate each corner of the quilt (how much of her talent did she pass on to me? Zippo - I just keep telling her how much I love her quilts and hope she'll keep making them for my kids)  

Anyhoo, Halle just loves to be on her changing table because of this quilt.  She almost giggles when you lay her down and immediately her head will turn to it.  She'll smile or laugh at it and just recently has been reaching out to touch it.  I think it's so endearing that I snapped a picture to show my Mom.  So in case I haven't told you enough, Thanks for all your hours of sewing Mom - it's totally worth it!

What we're up to for Spring Break

Josh is up to "big kid" movies.  No more cartoons (unless they're Spiderman, Batman, or another Superhero - I mean even Dad still likes those).  So Shelby hasn't seen Barbie in a while, sob, sob.

 Lots of hot tubbin!  We just had Halle try the hot tub and she loved it too.  We're excited to try her out at one of our favorite hot spots, Lava Hot Springs.

 Slumber Parties - Yahoo.  Quinn invited our new neighbor, Sam, and Saige over to watch "New Moon."  They partied til midnight eating brownies, ice cream, & popcorn.  They ended the party in the morning making those little beeded patterns you iron together.  Quinn said it was the best party ever!

This last pix was taken just this morning, my 2 blue eyed babes.  They mostly like having their older siblings home for spring break.  Halle gets held a lot more often, Shelby gets more play mates, and even though Mom ends up working harder - even Mom loves having them all home together.    

Happy Days even at NAPA

It's been a crazy couple of weeks here in American Falls.  I haven't been sleeping a whole lot and luckily my husband loves (ok that might be a stretch) having the kids come visit him at NAPA.  When it's been a rough night Joaquin will take Josh & Shelby into Napa for a few hours to help me out.  This particular Saturday was great fun because Jesalee came in with Jade, Ty, & Zoe.  Uncle Lane was visiting so he could work on the Model T with Grampa.  Next thing we know Shelby & Jade had got their tools and were under the car helping.  (Josh & Ty were racing around the store on bikes).

On a sweet note, Quinn has made little posters (with Grandma's help) she wants to put up around the neighborhood asking if anyone has seen "Prince."  This is Lily she's holding. Regardless of who is asked to say the family prayer they always ask for Prince to come home or be happy where he is - it took weeks to get them to add the last part.

Another fun thing we did this month was watch Zoe be blessed.  It ended up being such a fun day for me.  Joaquin encouraged me to attend only Jesalee's ward instead of trying to do both.  I always try to listen to Joaquin (especially when I agree) so I got to sleep in, get only 3 children ready (Quinn & Jessi had a slumber party over at the Lankfords and met us at church), then sit with my husband all through sacrament meeting - YAHOO. 

This last pix is of Josh holding Halle, now 3 months old.  Joaquin, Halle, & I were able to go down to Las Vegas, Nevada last week for a NAPA Owner's Conference.  I had the best time of all hanging out in a beautiful room at The Venetian, reading 2 great books (Direct Red-a fascinating & bluntly honest story of a female surgeon's training & Leven Thumbs - the fun conclusion in a Fantasy series of 5 books), taking bubble bathes, and just relaxing with Halle.  The conference fed us breakfast, lunch, & dinner every day so we splurged the last night and ordered $50 worth of room service & bought a movie to watch - it was great!

Jessi's a Champion (Well we already knew that)

Diana (my sister-in-law) just showed me how to upload digital videos and I'm so excited. I promise to only do short clips so they won't bore you to tears, but here is a great clip of Jessi at her game Saturday. Notice she passed it to a boy - she can't wait for next year when it's an all girls team. We hope she keeps that theory of boys (other than Josh) are yuck!

This last Saturday was monumental - I sat through my last basketball game for the year!!! It started out rough having to wake up all of the kids and have them at the gym by 9:30am on Saturday (Joaquin was working-was that an accident? I wonder . . . ) But Jessi did great and made 3 baskets! She was a bit more aggressive than I like to see my little 8 year old be but her coaches assured me that was a good thing. Donna told me she just has a streak of her Aunt Mindi in her and my Mom just laughed and said I was such a girl! But when she stole the ball from one of her best friends, Whitney, I wanted to pull her out of the game and scold her. Luckily Dennis was kind enough to work for an hour at Napa so Joaquin could watch her play and he held me back. I was proud of her (but still whisper in her ear at night how much more fun dancing would be).

Here is a cute little clip of us watching at last weeks game.

And last but not least I have to put in a few pix of Joaquin on his birthday this last Wednesday. It's safe to say I have witnessed the most cheerful, mellow man on his birthday in the last 15 years of marriage. What, you might ask, brought about this miraculous change? I only wish I knew. Joaquin has always hated birthdays. He hates that he is soooo much older than me (hee,hee), hates that he's that much farther from 29 (it used to be 19 but now that Quinn's 11 - that's just weird), and hates when I make a big deal about it. So this year I let him plan it and kept my schedule open. He took the day off work, went to "Watch Dogs" with Quinn at school, took me out to dinner & shopping, and finished off the day unwrapping little presents the kids got him while enjoying strawberry cheesecake. I mean look at that smile - What a hunk!And to think he's only 29 (love you honey).

Halle's Cousin Zoe is here!

Since Jesalee won't join the blogging world I had to post some cute pix we just took today of Zoe Lee Smith.  I think she looks like Ty - minus the dimples - so cute.  She was born yesterday, Feb. 9th and weighed in at 8 lbs. 5oz.  Don't you think these two are bound to have a love/hate relationship just like their older sisters Shelby & Jade?  Secretly - who am I kidding - openly, Jesalee & I are praying a few of these girls will be dancers.  Doesn't it seem right to enjoy a few of the performing arts along with the hundreds of basket ball games I've already sat through?!

I just had to throw in this last picture of our tough boy.  He & the girls have loved sledding on the golf course this year.  The only problem this last week it has been a little warmer with no new snow - that means ice.  He went off a bump and skidded on his face, ouch.  Joaquin keeps telling him it looks cool.

Halle's Beautimus Blessing Day

  

It was a wonderful Blessing Day this past Sunday.  We had family members that were missed because they were sick (get better soon Mom & Amanda), family that drove clear from Washington (love you Em!), and one sister-in-law who really didn't want to be there (Jesalee was 9+ months pregnant wishing to be in the hospital).  All in all we had around 50 family & friends come visit this delightful girl.  Some of the highlights of her blessing were the desire to study and learn the truth of the gospel, to watch and follow the examples of her older brother and sisters, and to be a good example herself - standing firm in her faith (yahoo!). 

As you can tell Halle was entirely dolled up for her big day.  My amazing Mother-in-Law, Donna crocheted this perfect dress, made her beaded socks, and a matching pearl bracelet. My Mom offered to crochet a matching bonnet & booties - What an heirloom!  I have a little dress & booties for each of my girls that I love just knowing the hours both of my Moms spent on them.  (I tried to get Donna to crochet a suit for Josh but Joaquin put his foot down on that one-sorry buddy).

In his testimony Joaquin let everyone know he was wearing his suit coat especially for his wife -what can I say, I've got him whipped.

 

Wow, we actually got them all in one picture!

I don't know if you can really see, but the 2 men being a tad bit dorky are . . . you guessed it Kade showing off his guns, and Joaquin showing off his gut.  Donna were they raised in a barn?!?!  Oh, that's right - a farm - close enough.

Josh wants to know, "Is it Valentine's Day Yet?"

 

Isn't she just beautimus?  She's been an angel for the last 2 nights.  She fell asleep around 11 pm and only woke up once at 5 am!  After 2 months of sleeping only 3 hours at a time, having 6 straight hours feel like such a treat.  I was giddy enough to take Halle with me to do the "3 month supply" stock up at Winco today.  She did so well until check out, of course.  I haven't been to Winco in so long that I forget you have to bag your own groceries - Amanda could you put a word into your Grampa that new mothers deserve a bagger?  Luckily I had a really nice cashier who kept trying to put her binki back in while I bagged the monstrous pile of groceries. 

  

Look at that tummy! 

I had to show you my cute craft man in action.  We subscribe to my favorite "Family Fun" magazine which always has great ideas.  This months issue had these cute tractor valentines that Josh has been begging to do.  Even though it's only Feb. 3 I decided to buy all the cute candy since I was at Winco.  They turned out perfect and now all we have to do is figure out a place to hide them for the next week and a half - Especially with all the visitors coming for Halle's blessing & Superbowl "Snack" Sunday.